Excerpt from "Intruder in the Hayloft":
(SFX: Snoring.)
JENNY: Stop foolin' around! Santa! Eating Dad's brownies!?
TOMMY: I'm not foolin'! He ate ALL(!) of Dad's brownies.
JENNY: Why would Dad hide brownies…. Ooooh…. Well whoever he is, we can't tell mom 'n' dad he's here. (SFX: Snoring.)
TOMMY: Why not?
JENNY: ‘Cause Dad'll have a conniption fit!
TOMMY: I'm comin' down.
JENNY: If we tell them, they'll know we've been up in the hayloft. (SFX: Snoring.)
TOMMY: And if he is who I think he is,....
JENNY: He knows where they hid our Christmas presents.
TOMMY: Maybe we should tie him up.
JENNY: Yeah! So's he doesn't get away before he tells us the hidin' spot. (SFX: Snoring.)
TOMMY: Yer a genius.
JENNY: Hurry! While he's asleep... We have to go up 'n' tie up the old guy, gag 'im 'n' cover 'im with some hay.
TOMMY: Hurry! Grab that bailin' twine over there.
JENNY: We can gag 'im with this dirty grease rag daddy was usin' to wipe off that ole John Deere tractor motor he's fixin'. (SFX: Snoring.)
(SFX: Clunk, clunk, clunk... Boots on the steps.)
TOMMY: (v.o.) Hurry!
(SFX: Clunk, clunk, clunk... of boots on the steps. Pause.)
JENNY: I’m goin’ as fast as my lil’ legs’ll climb.
JENNY: I’m goin’ as fast as my lil’ legs’ll climb.
(SFX: Clunk, clunk, clunk... boots on the steps quickly. ALL ARE UPSTAIRS.)
TOMMY: (v.o.) Hurry! You gag ‘im. I’ll tie ‘im up.
V.O..: Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble !
JENNY: (v.o.) Sorry! I didn't tie you up. Not me!
TOMMY: (v.o.) She/He stuffed that greasy ole' rag in yer mouth to keep you quiet.
V.O.: Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble !
JENNY/JEREMY: (v.o.) You did that!
TOMMY: (v.o.) Yeah, but it was your idea!
V.O.: Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble !
JENNY/JEREMY: (v.o.) Do you think he's Santa Claus?
TOMMY: (v.o.) Nope.
V.O.: Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble !
TOMMY: (v.o.) He's not Nico...las... or whatever, neither.
JENNY/JEREMY: (v.o.) If you’re Santa, you’ll tell us where they hid our presents. If you tell us… we'll… take that dirty old rag out of your mouth.
V.O.: Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble Mumble ! (SFX: Spits out rag.)
V.O.: Bleaugh! (SFX: Spits.) How can I talk with that filthy thing in my mouth?!
TOMMY: (v.o.) She/He thinks you're Santa, I know you're not.